


Hit That

by roe87



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bucky's chat up lines need some work, Drabble, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Ice Cream Parlors, M/M, Meet-Cute, One Shot, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Punk Bucky Barnes, just a mention of some sexy stuff, mostly just Meet Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 09:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4619520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I just slapped your ass because I thought you were my buddy, but it turns out I don't know you at all, and…<br/>And you’re really hot.<br/>Help!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit That

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Hit That 又名《影帝Bucky教你如何泡到金发碧眼帅哥》](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976905) by [Anlicious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anlicious/pseuds/Anlicious), [roe87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87)



> Title from a song by The Offspring.   
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> i just wanted to post something cute and silly. hope you enjoy it.  
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> ~ ~ ~

 

Bucky made his way uptown in the cold and blustery wind, wrapped up in layers of thick clothing all in varying shades of black. His earmuffs, though, were bright red. Sporting an undercut and tying his long hair back required earmuffs on cold days, or Bucky was guaranteed to get a headache.

It made zero sense to him to be meeting Natasha and Clint for _ice cream_ on such a cold day in spring, but the parlor or diner or whatever was new, and Natasha had told him it also served hot waffles, cakes, and amazing coffee.

Bucky found the ice cream parlor and wrestled his way through the glass door, shutting the wind outside. The place was big, with high ceilings and bright primary colors as décor, and neon lights on the walls. A long, winding counter full of colorful ice cream tubs was to the right.

It was kinda quiet for patrons, but there was music playing overhead. Bucky acclimatised quickly, noting two things. One, Natasha was sitting at a table over to the left, her red hair not quite blending into the red colors on the wall behind her. She was deep in conversation with a brunette that Bucky sort of recognised; Maria, perhaps?

Two, Bucky spotted Clint over by the counter, bending over to peer through the glass and inspect the ice cream. He had his brown leather jacket on, and jeans a little tighter than he normally wore, which made his ass look _good_ as he bent over and put it on display like that.

It was too much temptation for Bucky to resist. In a split second he strode forward with a grin, pulled off his earmuffs and batted them hard across Clint’s butt.

The guy jerked in surprise, then straightened up and turned round.

The grin died on Bucky’s face as he saw this was definitely _not_ Clint. In fact, Bucky’s brain nearly shut down, mortified that he’d just slapped a complete stranger’s butt.

And said stranger was hot.

Like, _real_ hot. Blond, blue eyes. A lot bigger than Clint, Bucky only just realised, and he was staring back at Bucky in confused silence.

“I’m… I’m so sorry!” Bucky stammered out, “I thought you were my friend! I thought I…”

I thought I recognised your ass, he only just managed to stop himself from saying.

The handsome stranger blinked, then purposely looked Bucky up and down. Bucky braced himself for a punch, or a chewing out; anything that was clearly justified.

But this guy, he---

He smiled.

And oh, wow, he really was gorgeous.

Bucky blinked back at him, not sure if it was shock or awe keeping him frozen, until he managed to snap himself out of it. “I’m… real sorry,” he said again, side stepping away but keeping his eyes warily on the guy all the same.

And the guy _followed_ him, stepped closer as Bucky tried to escape.

“It’s okay,” he said, voice a lot deeper than Bucky’d expected, and the sound of it and the close proximity of this beautiful Adonis did things to Bucky’s already racing heart.

_Wow_.

He really, truly hadn’t been at all prepared for such an intense level of social interaction, or… _flirting_? Or whatever this was, just out of nowhere. Bucky squeaked out another apology, then turned and fled to the tables, toward Natasha and her friend, who were still chatting and barely paid any attention to Bucky until he clumsily crashed down into a seat, interrupting their conversation.

“Oh, James, you remember Maria?” Natasha said, and Bucky said hello to them both in a daze, wanting to glance over his shoulder and see if that guy was watching or not, but instead he focussed on Natasha.

“Where’s Clint?” he demanded in a whisper.

“He’s running late,” Natasha said, as Bucky covered his face with both hands, one still clutching his earmuffs, and groaned. “Why?”

“I just slapped some random dude on the ass because I thought he was Clint,” Bucky mumbled, his face still hot with embarrassment.

Both women glanced over to the counter. “Oh yeah? Who?” Natasha asked, amusement in her voice. “I’ve told you before, James, to quit doing that.”

She _had_.

She had told him before. Bucky had made the mistake of sneaking up on Natasha once to tickle her, a few years back, and had gotten a sharp elbow to the stomach and almost lost his previous meal as a result.

Clint, however, seemed to find his antics more amusing, and usually just laughed.

Damn you, Clint, Bucky thought.

“That tall, blond guy,” Bucky hissed, not even daring to look over. “He’s wearing exactly the same leather jacket Clint has, I swear.”

“Oh, Steve?” Maria said, as Natasha started chuckling. “Yes, I suppose their jackets do look similar.”

Bucky didn’t even have time to be mortified before the mystery guy, _Steve_ , appeared at their table.

“Well, I checked out the flavors,” he said, voice bright and cheerful, “I think I know what I’m having.” He slid into the seat beside Maria, across from Bucky, and flashed him a smile.

Bucky just stared. He couldn’t quite believe this was happening, and _seriously_ his brain needed to reboot and get with the program, because Steve didn’t seem mad or anything, he seemed kinda…

Amused…? Maybe? Hopefully.

So… this wasn’t a total disaster.

Natasha was smirking, eyeing the pair of them closely. Her friend Maria was doing the same.

Suddenly Bucky wondered if Maria and Steve were… _together_ , or something. In which case he’d already confessed to her about groping her fella.

“Uh…” Bucky said, because it seemed his turn to speak, yet he couldn’t quite form words. He was aware his face was still flushed and he hoped the others didn’t notice.

“Steve,” Natasha said, calm and deadly, “this is James, but call him Bucky. Bucky, this is Steve.” A twitch of her lips indicated how much she wanted to grin. “I hear you’ve already met.”

Bucky’s face flushed hot, and his lips pressed into a thin line, because _dammit_ , Natasha. But Steve clearly found it all amusing as he let out a delighted chuckle, his eyes crinkling with mirth.

Bucky was instantly smitten.

“We were just checking out the ice creams,” Steve said casually. “Not sure if Bucky picked what he’s having yet.”

“I… it’s…” Bucky stuttered out, “It’s too cold for ice cream.” Which sounded dumb the moment it was out of his mouth, and if he _looked_ as flushed as he felt, he must look crimson right now.

“He wanted waffles,” Natasha explained. “They come with a scoop of ice cream. Hurry up and pick a flavor before the server comes, James. I need to order already.”

“Uh…” Bucky finally forced his gaze away from Steve and his gorgeous face, and glanced at the small pop-up menu sitting on their table. His eyes couldn’t focus, so he blurted out the first flavor he could think of. “Vanilla.”

“Really, Barnes?” Natasha didn’t sound impressed. Steve and Maria looked on in interest.

“What?” Bucky shot her a look. “What’s wrong with vanilla?”

“This place has over fifty flavors of ice cream, including root beer. And you’re telling me you’re just going to pick vanilla?”

“Yes,” Bucky retorted, because he really didn’t want to get up and check out the flavors, panicked that was what Natasha was trying to goad him into. Maybe they’d all come up and swat him on the ass in retaliation for doing it to Steve. He wouldn’t put that past Natasha at all.

So he stuck his bottom lip out in determination and held fast. “I’m having vanilla.”

“I like vanilla,” Steve volunteered, like he wanted to clear the air.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Fine, have your boring flavors.” She signalled the server over. “I’ll be adventurous on my own.”

Bucky glanced at Maria in question, who smiled at him. “Apparently chocolate isn’t wild enough either.”

They all laughed about that, tension thankfully leaving, and Bucky relaxed enough to enjoy his waffles and vanilla scoop when they came, and the company.

Especially the company, when Maria mentioned somebody she was dating who definitely _wasn’t_ named Steve, and Bucky took a much more avid interest in Steve then.

He still glared at Clint when he arrived late, because it was Clint’s fault that whole faux pas with Steve had happened earlier.

Clint noticed as he hovered between Bucky and Natasha, and it only made him grin. “What’s that look for, Buckaroo?” he demanded bluntly, because he was Clint. “What have I done now?”

Bucky was about to say, it’s nothing and he’d tell Clint later, or something, when Natasha beat him to it: “He thought Steve was you, so he did his usual greeting.”

Bucky stared at her in shock, mortified she was bringing this up. She licked the ice cream from her spoon daintily as she eyed him back.

Clint barked out a laugh, clapping Bucky and then Steve on the shoulder. “I’m sure Steve didn’t mind.”

Steve seemed bemused, while Bucky died of embarrassment yet again. “It’s fine,” Steve said amicably.

“If you wanna get even,” Clint told him, “get him right here, Steve.” Clint tapped his left side, just under his ribs. “Real ticklish. If you catch him by surprise---” He darted away with a laugh as Bucky made to swat Clint with the menu. “---you can make him squawk.”

“Clint,” Bucky grumbled.

“What?” Clint said. “It’s funny. You squawk.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Bucky said adamantly, looking to Steve. He felt it important Steve know that he didn’t squawk. It was more of a yelp. He definitely didn’t squawk.

Steve smiled at him, blue eyes dancing, and Bucky couldn’t help smiling back.

 

~ ~ ~ 

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Once they’d parted ways and said their goodbyes, Steve called to him.

Bucky stopped, waiting for Steve to catch up to him, wondering what he could want and feeling an excited flutter in his chest.

“So.” Steve smiled at him briefly before looking down, cell phone in his hand. “I wondered if maybe you want to swap numbers? I’d like to get a coffee with you sometime, if you want.”

“You… Yeah? You would?” Bucky asked, just to be sure, because _really_? How was he even this lucky? Steve being single was one thing, Steve being single and apparently interested in _him_ was something else entirely.

“Yeah.” Steve’s smile grew as he offered Bucky his phone.

Bucky entered his number. He couldn’t quite believe this was happening. Not when Steve smiled at him and said thank you. Not when Steve texted him later that night, and they had this whole cute little conversation, lighting Bucky’s face up with a grin at each message.

Then Steve started teasing him about the butt slap, and _that_ Bucky could believe was happening to him. At least Steve couldn’t see him wince and pull faces over text.

_I told you I hadn’t meant to do it!_ He texted back.

_But you meant to slap Clint’s ass_ , Steve replied. _I’m a little jealous. ;)_

Bucky laughed at that. _I don’t know what to say in my defence_ , he texted. _Except that my platonic butt slaps with Clint tend to get me in trouble. I’m so sorry._

_For the record,_ Steve wrote, _I was totally cool with it once I saw how cute you were._

Bucky grinned to himself.

He was about to text Steve back when a second message came through: _Besides, who says I won’t get my own back? :p_

“What have I started?” Bucky wondered aloud.

 

~ ~ ~

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Steve, Bucky discovered, was actually very competitive. The guy never backed down from a challenge.

Bucky hadn’t been _aware_ he’d challenged Steve with that first, mostly innocent ass slap, but that’s how Steve took it.

On their first date, Steve tried to sneak up on him at the coffee shop, but Bucky saw him at the last minute and turned to catch him. They ended up colliding into each other in an awkward but kinda hilarious hug instead.

At the end of the date, when they were saying a shy goodbye, Steve leaned in to kiss Bucky’s lips quickly. Bucky thought he’d struck gold because, seriously, how awesome was this guy? Gorgeous _and_ sweet?

Steve’s hand looped around Bucky’s waist, but before Bucky realised what he was up to, Steve’s hand swooped in low and his strong fingers pinched Bucky’s ass cheek, making him yelp in surprise.

He flushed, and shoved a laughing Steve away, fighting off a smile himself. “Oh, it is _on_ , mister.”

“Hey, you started it,” Steve reminded him.

“Yeah,” Bucky grinned, “and I’ll finish it too.”

Bucky Barnes did not back down from a challenge either. Especially when that challenge was six foot two of blond hotness.

So it sorta became a thing, this ass pinching, or swatting. Extra points for yelps of surprise, squawks of indignation, or making Steve throw his iced latte all over himself while waiting for Bucky on the sidewalk.

Well… maybe Bucky had gone a little too far with that last one. He took a cautious step back from a wet, coffee-soaked Steve, and grinned wide. “I’m pretty sure that won everything,” Bucky told him. “I win!”

Steve just fixed him with a look, mouth quirking in a smile. “You won this round, Buck, but the war is far from over.”

“Oh, God.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Just admit defeat, Rogers. This simply cannot escalate any further.”

Steve raised his eyebrows in challenge, smile becoming sly. “Is that so?”

“It’s…” Bucky paused, distracted by Steve’s smile, by the look in his eye.

Oh, he thought, reading the signals loud and clear.

_Oh_.

“Well, y’know,” he smiled back, giving Steve his best sultry look. “That’s up to you.”

Steve did that thing where he slowly raked his gaze all over Bucky, up and down and coming back to his eyes. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Bucky cleared his throat. “I mean, I live close by. You could… um, come wash up, and…” He trailed off, too invested in the eye contact and the fuck-me vibes Steve was giving off to remember what he was saying, whatever lame excuse he was trying to come up with anyway.

They were so ready for this.

He grabbed for Steve’s hand. “Just come back to my place, punk.”

Steve grinned. “I’d love to, jerk.”

 

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Steve, Bucky discovered, was a real firecracker in bed. Bucky should’ve seen that coming, what with Steve’s competitive nature, and honestly Bucky was thrilled.

Their clothes littered the floor of Bucky’s bedroom, Steve’s smelling of the coffee that’d spilt over him. There was a hint of coffee on Steve’s sculpted chest, and Bucky took great delight in licking it away from his soft skin, tongue swirling around Steve’s pert nipples that got Steve writhing in pleasure.

“What were you drinking anyway, Rogers,” Bucky teased him, mouth brushing across Steve’s soft skin, “Caramel iced latte? Can’t you take a real coffee, or--”

Then Bucky found himself being flipped, and Steve’s weight pinning him to the bed as a shocked gasp left his mouth. Steve kissed him hungrily, while his hips pressed down and rubbed against Bucky, grinding their erections together through their underwear.

Bucky moaned into the kiss, opening up and wrapping himself around Steve’s lithe body, happily letting Steve take the lead.

“I wondered if you were a top,” Bucky breathed as Steve kissed down his throat.

“Mm.” Steve licked a wet stripe all the way to the sensitive shell of Bucky’s ear, making him squirm. “You seem to like it.”

“Hey, I ain’t complaining,” Bucky told him, pulling Steve back down. He wasn’t done kissing his mouth yet. Steve had gorgeous, plump lips and Bucky _wanted_.

“Mmm.” Steve kissed him indulgently, then pulled back to say, “I switch, by the way. But I think you owe me a lil’ something for that coffee stunt you pulled earlier.”

Bucky laughed, rolling his hips to press against Steve and tease him. “This isn’t payback, is it?”

Steve’s smile was knowing. “Now why would I do that?” He reached for Bucky, pulling him close. He hooked a hand under Bucky’s knee, guiding his leg to rest on Steve’s hip so they could press even closer.

Bucky just went with it, flowing into Steve and wanting nothing more than to be man-handled a bit. Steve was strong, but he was gentle with it and got Bucky so turned on.

Steve’s big hand rubbed over Bucky’s thigh, up and down, nails scraping. They kissed again, wet and slow, taking their time.

Except Bucky kinda noticed Steve’s hand straying upwards, fingers walking up to his ribs, and just as Bucky thought, _no,_ _Steve wouldn’t_ …

Steve did, and he pinched Bucky’s skin just _there_ and made Bucky squawk in surprise. Steve burst into laughter, and Bucky just shoved at his shoulder with an amused huff.

“You punk.”

Really, he should’ve seen that coming.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

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> thank you for reading my fluff! ^_^ Let's pretend this idea was from a prompt, and not actual real life where i apparently slap strangers on the butt. >.>


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